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George Carlin, your humor and unique deliver will be sorely missed by everyone:

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Produced by Jokestarter friends and striking WGA members Danny Zuker and Tim Kelleher.

Directed by Tim Kelleher.

Starring Danny Zuker and Zach Rosenblatt:

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Simpson was arrested shortly after 11 a.m. and is being brought to a police office, Capt. James Dillon said. Police are still determining charges against Simpson.

Several police officers were seen entering the hotel where Simpson is staying; a security guard said police took Simpson out a side door shortly after.

At least one other person has been arrested and police said earlier Sunday that as many as six people could be arrested in connection with the alleged armed robbery that occurred in a room inside the Palace Station casino-hotel on Thursday.

Simpson, 60, has said he and other people with him were retrieving items that belonged to him. He told police no guns were involved.

Police said two firearms and other evidence were seized at a private residence early Sunday.

Walter Alexander, 46, of Arizona, was arrested Saturday night on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a deadly weapon.

Watch the video of O.J. leaving a wedding Sat. night in Vegas; listen to the song he’s whistling!

JOKESTARTERS:

• Sure, no guns were involved, but did they check for any knives?
• According to authorities, Simpson plans another huge defense. He’s already exhumed the body of the late Johnny Cochran to serve as his lead defender/smelly rotting corpse.

SOURCE:

• Seattle P-I

Imagine traveling on Nepal’s state-run airline recently, being told about mechanical problems with a Boeing 757, then looking out the window to see officials sacrificing two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god!

Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem.

The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal’s only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, an official said.

“The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights,” said Raju K.C., a senior airline official, without explaining what the problem had been.

Local media last week blamed the company’s woes on an electrical fault. The carrier runs international flights to five cities in Asia.

It is common in Nepal to sacrifice animals like goats and buffaloes to appease different Hindu deities.

JOKESTARTERS:

• I know a guy who works at Boeing, and they actually have a Hindu-based manual that shows the proper, technical method of severing a goat’s neck to appease Akash Bhairab. It’s a common fix for 757s.
• In a related incident, officials recently sacrificed a sheep in Washington State, after accidentally having sex with it.
• “Ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking. Today we’ll be serving your choice of snacks, drinks, and the fresh warm blood of Billy the goat. Have a pleasant flight…”

SOURCE:

• Reuters

Hilliard Davidson High School senior Kyle Garchar says he and two friends spent three days plotting the trick, which was captured on video and posted on YouTube:

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Garchar says he was inspired by a similar prank pulled by Yale students in 2004, when Harvard fans were duped into holding up cards with the same message.

The 17-year-old placed about 800 black and white cards in seats at Crew Stadium before an August 24th game with Hilliard Darby High School.

Directions instructed fans to check that the number listed on their card matched their seat number.

Darby supporters were told the sign read “GO DARBY.”

So…should Kyle have been suspended? Please add your thoughts in Comments below…

SOURCE:

• WTOL-TV

That’s not that unusual, but what is is that the accident caused his seatbelt to do a Heimlich-like maneuver on him, thus saving his life.

Steven Earp, 48, was eating a fast-food sandwich while driving Wednesday morning, said police Sgt. Doug Mozan.

Earp choked and blacked out.

His 1997 Honda sedan hit a parked car.

After the wreck, Earp came to.

Mozan attributed his revival to a “seatbelt-induced Heimlich maneuver.”

Witnesses told police Earp got out of his car, and they asked if he was okay.

“No, I’m not,” he said, and collapsed again.

Paramedics revived him and took him to the hospital, where doctors determined he hadn’t been injured.

“We urge people to take the extra time to pull over to the side of the road to enjoy your breakfast sandwiches,” said Mozan. “The fact that it was a nonfatal accident was extremely lucky. He didn’t choke to death or take anyone else with him.”

JOKESTARTERS:

• This isn’t the first time Earp has been saved by his car. Previously, he had severe blockage of his bowels, until a wild swerve caused him to end up sitting on the gearshift, which cleared the blockage.
• Earp’s 1997 Honda is being touted as a hero now, and is touring the country on behalf of the Heimliching Vehicles Foundation, a new non-profit made up of sentient motor vehicles that can save lives.

SOURCE:

• First Coast News

But this use of duct tape takes the cake:

A man in disguise tried to rob a liquor store in Ashland recently, wearing duct tape wrapped tightly around his face, with his t-shirt pulled up over his head, ala “Cornholio” from “Beavis and Butthead.”

Store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own, but his was wrapped around a wooden club that sent the robber fleeing, according to a report by WSAZ-TV in Huntington, W. Virginia. The robber ended up dropping the rolls of change that he got in the robbery.

Store employee Craig Miller said he chased the man to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke position until police arrived, the station reported. An unidentified customer also helped, police said.

Kasey G. Kazee, 24, was charged with first-degree robbery. Kazee, in an interview with the TV station, denied he was the bandit who robbed the store of two rolls of change.

Kazee pleaded not guilty Monday in Boyd County District Court and was ordered held under a $250,000 cash bond.

JOKESTARTERS:

• This isn’t the first time the suspect has tried to rob a store using a tape-based disguised. Previously, he failed to hold up an espresso stand while wearing a mask made of Scotch Tape. He was immediately identified by the barista victim.
• Police knew they had the right guy when they checked his ID and saw the name “Kasey Kazee.”

SOURCE:

• WRAL

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Then in a tree.

More recently, as a grease stain on the floor of a garage that sold on eBay for over $1,500.

And now, a Connecticut couple, Malynda and Eric Smith, say that one of the kitchen cabinet doors has an image of Jesus Christ in it.

The couple says they have lived in the house for about a year and never noticed anything different about the cabinet.

And they say it may be hard to believe, but everyone who looks at it sees the image.

“My daughter came and and said, ‘Mom look it’s God,’” recalled Malynda.

“And I looked and there it was a picture of Jesus Christ. Then my son noticed it and my husband came in and noticed it. I just can’t believe we hadn’t noticed it before.”

The family says, unlike others who have items bearing the likeness of Jesus, they are not going to sell the cabinet door.

They say that would be bad luck.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Actually, it makes perfect sense that Jesus would choose to put his image in a cabinet. After all, he was a carpenter, right?

SOURCE:

• First Coast News