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	<title>Jokestarter &#187; Technology</title>
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	<link>http://www.jokestarter.com</link>
	<description>Joke and bit ideas for writers, producers, DJs, bloggers, comedians and others.</description>
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		<title>Problems With A 757? Easy Fix: Sacrifice Two Goats!</title>
		<link>http://www.jokestarter.com/2007/09/problems-with-a-757-easy-fix-sacrifice-two-goats/</link>
		<comments>http://www.jokestarter.com/2007/09/problems-with-a-757-easy-fix-sacrifice-two-goats/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:55:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scottso</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weird]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.jokestarter.com/?p=818</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[KATHMANDU, NEPAL – Usually when you&#8217;re traveling via airplane and your flight is delayed for mechanical reasons, you can look out the terminal window and see mechanics busy working on the aircraft. Imagine traveling on Nepal&#8217;s state-run airline recently, being told about mechanical problems with a Boeing 757, then looking out the window to see [...]]]></description>
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</td></tr></table>KATHMANDU, NEPAL – Usually when you&#8217;re traveling via airplane and your flight is delayed for mechanical reasons, you can look out the terminal window and see mechanics busy working on the aircraft.</p>
<p><em><strong>Imagine traveling on Nepal&#8217;s state-run airline recently, being told about mechanical problems with a Boeing 757, then looking out the window to see officials sacrificing two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god!</strong></em><span id="midArticle_byline"></span></p>
<p><span id="midArticle_0"></span>Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem.<img src="http://www.gulf-times.com/mritems/images/2007/9/4/2_170690_1_248.jpg" title="I have a baaaa-aaad feeling about this" alt="I have a baaaa-aaad feeling about this" align="right" height="200" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="260" /></p>
<p><span id="midArticle_1"></span><strong>The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal&#8217;s only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, an official said.</strong></p>
<p><span id="midArticle_2"></span><em><strong>&#8220;The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights,&#8221; </strong></em>said Raju K.C., a senior airline official, without explaining what the problem had been.</p>
<p><span id="midArticle_3"></span>Local media last week blamed the company&#8217;s woes on an electrical fault. The carrier runs international flights to five cities in Asia.</p>
<p><span id="midArticle_4"></span>It is common in Nepal to sacrifice animals like goats and buffaloes to appease different Hindu deities.</p>
<p><strong>JOKESTARTERS:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>I know a guy who works at Boeing, and they actually have a Hindu-based manual that shows the proper, technical method of severing a goat&#8217;s neck to appease Akash Bhairab. It&#8217;s a common fix for 757s.</li>
<li>In a related incident, officials recently sacrificed a sheep in Washington State, after accidentally having sex with it.</li>
<li><em>&#8220;Ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking. Today we&#8217;ll be serving your choice of snacks, drinks, and the fresh warm blood of Billy the goat. Have a pleasant flight&#8230;&#8221;</em></li>
</ul>
<p><strong>SOURCE:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC47086020070905?feedType=RSS&amp;feedName=oddlyEnoughNews" title="Reuters" target="_blank">Reuters</a></li>
</ul>
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		<title>For Fifty Dolla, &#8220;Over Here Jerks!&#8221; Will Distract Nerd In SF iPhone Line</title>
		<link>http://www.jokestarter.com/2007/06/for-50-over-here-jerks-will-distract-nerd-in-sf-iphone-line/</link>
		<comments>http://www.jokestarter.com/2007/06/for-50-over-here-jerks-will-distract-nerd-in-sf-iphone-line/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 13:35:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scottso</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weird]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.jokestarter.com/?p=745</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Actual posting from Craigslist in San Francisco: &#8220;Need a diversion to cut in the iPHONE line? Try the best! &#8211; $50 Why pay someone else big $$$ to wait in line if the only thing between you and the front of the line is a good diversion? Our tactics are guaranteed to be safe, effective, [...]]]></description>
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</td></tr></table>Actual posting from Craigslist in San Francisco:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;<strong>Need a diversion to cut in the iPHONE line?  Try the best! &#8211; $50</strong></p>
<p>Why pay someone else big $$$ to wait in line if the only thing between you and the front of the line is a good diversion? Our tactics are guaranteed to be safe, effective, and even humorous* !</p>
<p>With our proprietary combination of stink sauces and dangerous, exotic animals, two &#8220;attempts&#8221; in quick succession works over 60% of the time &#8212; especially with nerds. You might even have time to grab a few lawn chairs, sleeping bags, and sandwiches amid the mayhem! We&#8217;ll give it up to three &#8220;attempts&#8221; before ever charging you another nickel! <img src="http://media.philly.com/images/300*442/7c707cea-c470-4782-a0ac-22f26e78b252.jpg" title="iPhone Line" alt="iPhone Line" align="right" height="302" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="206" /></p>
<p>Feeling less like a geek and more like a bank robber? Not so good at chess yet? Our services are not limited to lines! Want to kidnap your neighbor&#8217;s obnoxious dog? Glue your boss&#8217; furniture to the ceiling? Enjoy our bulk discounts on tranquilizer darts and industrial-strength adhesives. At &#8220;Over Here, Jerks&#8221; TM we&#8217;re dedicated to bringing you the most dependable results &#8212; ranging from a few turned heads to absolute pandemonium &#8212; to give you the &#8220;windows of opportunity&#8221; you need for that extra edge of success. Contact us today with your special request!</p>
<p>*humorless customers not eligible for discounts. Field ambassadors from &#8220;Over Here, Jerks&#8221; TM reserve the exclusive rights to evaluate and quantify the level of humor, based on the 2002 J.O.K.E. standards&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>SOURCE:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/ele/361296887.html" title="Craigslist SF" target="_blank">Craigslist San Francisco </a></li>
</ul>
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