Category — News

That was the winning eBay bid Wednesday for a slab of concrete with a driveway sealant smudge with a pattern of Christ.

The Serios – Deb and John, and their daughters Natalie and Kelly – of Forest put the stain up for auction more than a week ago.

Word spread far and wide via the Internet. The family has received hundreds of messages from around the world.

“It’s fun to see what people say and think about it,” said Deb Serio, a teacher at E.C. Glass High School.

The winning bidder used the moniker “islandoffthecoast.” He or she has been an eBay user since February 2003.

In describing the stain on eBay, the Serio family wrote: “It does not change, cry, or manifest itself in any other way. It is an uncanny icon of Christ.”

Serio has hired a contractor to excavate the marked section of concrete from the garage floor. The auction winner will receive that chunk.

Serio said she has no plans yet for the money.

“I really never thought I’d get any, to be honest,” she said. “I know that sounds sort of naive, but I put it up there as sort of a lark, thinking, ‘Well, who knows who’s out there.’ I’m surprised.”

She said some people have told her she shouldn’t profit off Christ’s likeness.

But to Serio, an active Lutheran, the mark on the garage floor isn’t a sign from above – it’s just a smudge.

“I don’t consider myself someone who needs a Christ-like image to fortify my beliefs. … There are some people who need this kind of thing to sort of start them on their faith journey. I don’t. That’s why I don’t mind parting with it,” she said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Look closely at the photo of the smudge – doesn’t this look more like a Picasso than a Christ?
• Ironically, this grease stain was the end result of a grilled cheese sandwich eaten by a local mechanic.
• In a related development, the grease-stained image of Satan sold for .50 cents after being found under Dick Cheney’s Hummer.

SOURCE:

• Newsadvance.com

Four teenagers broke into a gas station early Wednesday and left a trail of wrappers along the road as they left, said Cpl. Mark Shawkey, a spokesman for the Anne Arundel County Police Department.

A police dog located the teens a quarter-mile away.

“Never heard of a K-9 having that extra help in completing a track,” Shawkey said.

Three boys and a girl, ages 15 and 16, were charged with burglary and theft. They were not named because of their ages.

Shawkey said the teens stole candy, chips and cigars from the BP station.

Most of the junk food was found scattered around the road where they were apprehended.

JOKESTARTERS:

• This story is further proof that yes, junk food is indeed ruining the lives of our children.
• In a related development, three bears were busted by cops after they left a trail of unfinished bowls of porridge behind after robbing a restaurant.

SOURCE:

• Centre Daily

The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer caught him having sex with a sheep.

But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep couldn’t take to the stand to testify that it didn’t want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.

Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it can be proved the animal didn’t want to have sex.

“Short of putting the sheep in the dock, at the moment these perverts cannot be prosecuted,” animal rights campaigner Jos van Huisen said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• In a related development, some Dutch judge actually waited to see if a sheep would show up in court.
• This is just another baa-aad case of the justice system not serving all living entities as equals. Sheep shot.

SOURCE:

• News.com.au

Police say the Bruce County man first took out his contact lenses and ate them – and then tried to eat his shirt and socks.

When police tried to stop the man from devouring his clothes, a scuffle broke out, and an officer pepper-sprayed him.

After the man was put in a holding cell, police say he dunked his head in a toilet.

The clothes-eating suspect has been charged with failing to provide a breath sample.

He is scheduled to make a court appearance in October.

JOKESTARTERS:

• You know, if clothes didn’t taste so dang good, this wouldn’t have happened.
• In a related development, stock prices in companies that sell edible undies skyrocketed today.
• The court appearance has been canceled for fear of the suspect eating his orange prison jumpsuit.
• You’ve probably heard the expression “I’ll eat my hat” but this is ridiculous…

SOURCE:

• KIROTV.com

BERLIN – A German woman who suffered for 55 years has finally had a pencil removed from her skull.

Margaret Wegner, now 59, was 4 years old when she fell while carrying the 3.15 inch-long pencil, which went through her cheek and into her brain.

“It bored right through the skin and disappeared into my head,” Wegner said. “It hurt like crazy.”

At the time the technology did not exist to safely remove the pencil, so Wegner had to live with it – and the chronic headaches and nosebleeds that it brought – for the next five-and-a-half decades.

But on Friday, Dr. Hans Behrbohm, an ear, nose and throat specialist at Berlin’s Park-Klinik Weissensee, was able to use modern techniques to identify the exact location of the pencil so that he could accurately determine that the risks of removing it, and then take most of it out.

The operation was particularly difficult because of the way the pencil had shifted as Wegner grew, Behrbohm told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

“This was something unique because the trauma was so old,” said Behrbohm, who has also operated to remove bullets from the brains of shooting victims, and glass from the brains of people involved in car accidents.

Though a 0.79-inch piece of the pencil could not be removed, Behrbohm said it does not present a danger.

And now Wegner, the wife of German boxing coach Ulli Wegner, will no longer have the headaches and nosebleeds, and her sense of smell should also return soon, Behrbohm said.

“She shouldn’t suffer any longer,” he said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• On the bright side, aside from suffering headaches and other pains for 55 years, the victim was able to jot notes down quickly using only the tip of her nose.
• The pop quiz the victim was supposed to take when she originally had the accident was finally re-given. The woman failed and has now been sent back to Kindergarten.
• I’ve heard of “Pencil Neck Geeks” before but never a “Pencil Headed Kraut” (is “kraut” too non-PC?).

SOURCE:

• Centre Daily