Category — Lawsuit

WASHINGTON, DC – The frivolous $54 million “missing trousers” lawsuit against a Washington DC dry cleaners had to be stopped yesterday because the plaintiff, a judge, had to leave the courtroom because he was crying.

Administrative law judge Roy L. Pearson had argued earlier in his opening statement that he is acting in the interest of all city residents against poor business practices. Defense attorneys called his claim “outlandish.”

He originally sued Custom Cleaners for about $65 million under the District of Columbia consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims. He is no longer seeking damages related to the pants, instead focusing his claims on two signs in the shop that have since been removed.

He alleges that Jin Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung, owners of the mom-and-pop business, committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service.”

Pearson, representing himself, said in opening that he wanted to examine the culture that allowed “a group of defendants to engage in bad business practices for five years.”

An attorney for the Chungs portrayed Pearson as a bitter man with financial troubles stemming from a recent divorce who is taking out his anger on a hardworking family.

“This case is very simple. It’s about one sign and the plaintiff’s outlandish interpretation,” attorney Chris Manning said.

The Chungs were to present their case Wednesday. Manning asked D.C. Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff to award them reimbursement for their legal costs if they win.

Pearson called several witnesses Tuesday who testified that they stopped going to Custom Cleaners after problems with misplaced clothes.

Pearson also called himself as a witness, saying his problems began in May 2005 when he brought in several suits for alterations. A pair of pants from a blue and maroon suit was missing when he requested it two days later. He said Soo Chung tried to give him a pair of charcoal gray pants.

As Pearson explained that those weren’t the pants for the suit, he choked up and left the courtroom crying after asking Bartnoff for a break.

Pearson originally asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit, which was more than $1,000. But because the Chungs insisted the pants had been found, they refused to pay.

Manning has said the cleaners made three settlement offers to Pearson, but the judge was not satisfied and increased his demands – including asking for money to rent a car so he could drive to another business.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Geez, where to begin. The story alone is a joke. The judge suing the dry cleaners is a joke as well. Can anyone actually believe this is really happening? Someone wake me up when this weird dream is over…
• So this guy, Roy Pearson, is actually a working judge? And he’s suing for $54 million (formerly $65 million) over a missing pair of pants? And he has to stop the proceedings because he’s crying??? WTF?

SOURCES:

• Washington Post
• Excite News

READ PREVIOUSLY POSTED STORY HERE

As another weird week winds its way down, we take a moment…a deep breath…a zen pause if you will…to look back, reflect on the weird news and associated humor…and be happy we didn’t drink any “Boost Plus,” that we didn’t eat any McMucous Boogers, and that we didn’t get our wheelchair stuck in front of a semi-truck doing 50…then yell as loud as we can:

“I’M FRIGGIN’ GLAD THIS WEEK IS OVA!”

• Two Men Hauling Jawbreakers Busted For Also Hauling Pot
• Cop Suing McDonald’s ‘Cuz His Burger Had Boogers In It
• Hilarious Amazon Reviews For Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 Fl Oz
• Minor League Baseball Coach Throws Totally Psycho Tirade (VIDEO)
• Boy Stops Burglary By Jumping Out Of Window Totally Naked
• Woman Robbed By Man Who Forced Her To Fill Up His SUV
• Unlucky Private Has Mother-In-Law As His Platoon Sergeant
• Man Suing Health Drink Maker For Causing Unwanted Erection
• It’s Not Illegal To Stare At And Make Faces At A Police Dog
• Wheelchair-Bound Man Hitches Ride On Front Of Semi, Goes 50MPH
• One Of Rob Lowe’s Balls Flies Off And Kills A Bird
• California Man faces Misdemeanor Charges After Shooting Wee Wee

MARYSVILLE, CA — A man accused of fatally shooting a beloved pet goose named “Wee Wee” faces three misdemeanor charges.

The Yuba County District Attorney’s office charged David Gregory Davis, 48, of Marysville, with hunting without a license, waste of game and overlimit of geese for shooting the Canada goose out of season.

Wee Wee might have appeared no different than any other Canada goose to the average hunter, but he was a family pet to Todd Hulsey and Sharri Neel and their children, as well as a friend to their neighbors.

The family rescued Wee Wee as a gosling from the Sacramento River more than a year ago and he became a pet. He waited for them at the gate to their property, rode in their boat when they went fishing and flew behind a motorcycle driven by Hulsey.

Sharri Neel had even posted a sign along a private road adjoining a nearby rice field that said, “Please Don’t Shoot The Pet Goose.”

Wee Wee was found floating in the rice field.

Davis is scheduled to be arraigned June 26 in Yuba County Superior Court.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Well it’s pretty obvious: this guy’s goose is cooked.
• In honor of the dead goose, all California zoophiliacs are required to wear black armbands the rest of this month. Around their genitals.
• The owners of the victim were so upset, the last anyone saw of them was when they went running, crying “wee wee wee” all the way home.

SOURCE:

• WRAL

CHELSEA, VT – Apparently it’s not illegal to stare at and make faces at a police dog, according to a prosecutor who dropped charges against a woman who did such a thing.

“Prosecuting a woman for ‘staring’ at a police dog is absurd,” said her lawyer. “People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It’s constitutional expression,” said public defender Kelly Green, who represented Jayna Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a July 31 incident in West Fairlee in which police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl. They were approached by Hutchinson, who told one officer she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved.

She asked Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman to take her statement but he refused, telling her she smelled like alcohol and was drunk but that he would take her statement at another time.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman’s cruiser, where his dog Max was waiting, putting her face within inches of the window and “staring at him in a taunting/harassing manner,” Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

“While the defendant taunted my canine, Max was focused on the defendant and the perceived threat she presented to him,” the affidavit said. “He was no longer focused on me and the other officers at the scene.”

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding the resisting arrest charge because she pulled her arms and upper body away during the arrest. She registered 0.21 percent blood-alcohol content on a breath test, more than twice the legal limit for drivers in Vermont.

On Tuesday, two days before Hutchinson was to go to trial, Orange County State’s Attorney Will Porter decided to drop the charges, after viewing a videotape of the incident over the weekend.

“I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog’s behavior,” Porter said. “Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can’t do that.”

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest, Porter said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Luckily for this woman, the police dog was behind a window. Otherwise, this reporter thinks she would’ve definitely lost the staring contest.
• In a related development, President Bush was recently rebuffed in his attempt to make staring contests an act of terrorism, punishable as an “enemy combatant” and five years in Guantanamo.
• Apparently, after viewing the videotape of the encounter, the prosecutor called “Girls Gone Wild” producer Joe Francis and made a deal. Look for a “Girls Taunting Police Dogs:Unleashed!” DVD soon…

SOURCE:

• Centre Daily

NEW YORK — A Manhattan man is suing the maker of the health drink “Boost Plus” because he claims it gave him an extra, unwanted and painful boost – an erection that wouldn’t subside, and which subsequently caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods, of Manhattan, said he bought the nutrition beverage, which is made by the Novartis pharmaceutical company, at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Novartis’ Boost Plus Web site describes the drink as “a great tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume,” in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

Woods’ court papers say he woke up the next morning “with an erection that would not subside” and sought treatment of the condition, called severe priapism. They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

The lawsuit, filed late Monday, says Woods later had problems that required a hospital visit and penile artery embolization, a way of closing blood vessels. Closing off some blood flow prevents engorgement of the penis with blood and lessens the likelihood of an erection.

Woods’ lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages, names Novartis Consumer Health Inc. as a defendant. A spokeswoman for the company, Brandi Robinson, said Tuesday the company was aware of the lawsuit but did not comment on pending litigation.

Woods’ lawyer did not return telephone calls for comment Tuesday.

JOKESTARTERS:

• In a related story, fugly women everywhere are buying Boost Plus in record quantities. As is Bob Dole.
• Anyone else find it ironically funny that this guy’s name is ‘Woods’?

SOURCE:

• WRAL