Category — Lawsuit

The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer caught him having sex with a sheep.

But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep couldn’t take to the stand to testify that it didn’t want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.

Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it can be proved the animal didn’t want to have sex.

“Short of putting the sheep in the dock, at the moment these perverts cannot be prosecuted,” animal rights campaigner Jos van Huisen said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• In a related development, some Dutch judge actually waited to see if a sheep would show up in court.
• This is just another baa-aad case of the justice system not serving all living entities as equals. Sheep shot.

SOURCE:

• News.com.au

Strange goings-on in swimming pools.

A distractable bus driver.

Zsa Zsa’s alleged “prince” found nekkid in his Rolls.

Lame suicide attempt.

And of course, everyone’s favorite, wacky animal hijinks…just another weird week in review:

• Thieving Squirrel Stealing Children’s Chocolate Treats From Grocery Store
• Man Tries To Commit Suicide By Tying Self To Tree For Six Days
• Capuchin Monkey Unlocks Cage And Escapes. Authorities Call Ben Stiller.
• If This Pussy Curls Up On Your Lap, You’re Gonna Die
• Zsa Zsa’s “Prince” Hubby Found Nekkid In His Rolls
• Driver Tries To Kick Woman Off Bus For Being Too Sexy
• Woman Baffled By Theft Of Her Backyard Swimming Pool, Including Water
• Is That A Milky Way In The Pool? Pool Closed After It’s Found *Not* To Be Candy.
• Oral Surgeon Implants Tusks In Assistant’s Mouth As Joke

“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. “He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.’”

The woman, pictured in Bild wearing her snug-fitting summer clothes with the plunging neckline, said she moved to another seat but was humiliated by the bus driver.

A spokesman for the bus company defended the driver.

“The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing,” the spokesman said.

“A bus driver cannot be distracted because it’s a danger to the safety of all the passengers.”
JOKESTARTERS:

• In a related story, male ridership on German buses has suddenly and inexplicably skyrocketed.
• Ironically, and this is indeed true (look it up if you don’t believe), the German word for breasts is busen. Coincidence? I think not!

SOURCE:

• Metro.co.uk

Dr. Robert Woo of Auburn had put in the phony tusks while his female assistant was under anesthesia for a different procedure. He took them out before she awoke, but he first shot photos that eventually made it around the office.

The employee, Tina Alberts, felt so humiliated when she saw the pictures that she quit and sued her boss.

Woo’s insurance company, Fireman’s Fund, refused to cover the claim, saying the practical joke was intentional and not a normal business activity his insurance policy covered, so Woo settled out of court. He agreed to pay Alberts $250,000, then he sued his insurers.

A King County Superior Court jury sided with Woo, ordering Fireman’s Fund to pay him $750,000, plus the out-of-court settlement. The insurance company won the next round, with the state Court of Appeals saying the prank had nothing to do with Woo’s practice of dentistry. On Thursday, the state Supreme Court restored Woo’s award.

In a sprightly 5-4 decision, Supreme Court Justice Mary Fairhurst wrote that Woo’s practical joke was an integral, if odd, part of the assistant’s dental surgery and “conceivably” should trigger the professional liability coverage of his policy.

Dissenting Justice James Johnson said the prank wasn’t a dental procedure at all and only “rewards Dr. Woo’s obnoxious behavior and allows him to profit handsomely.”

The back story, the court wrote, is that Alberts’ family raises potbellied pigs and that she frequently talked about them at the office where she worked for five years.

Woo said his jests about the pigs were part of “a friendly working environment” that he tried to foster.

The oral surgery on Alberts was intended to replace two of her teeth with implants, which Woo did.

First, though, he installed temporary bridges that he had shaped to look like boar tusks, and while Alberts was still under anesthesia, he took photos, some with her eyes propped open. Before she woke up, he removed the “tusks” and put in the proper replacement teeth.

Woo says he didn’t personally show her the pictures but staffers gave her copies at a birthday party.

Woo’s lawyer, Richard Kilpatrick, described the surgeon as a kindhearted, fun-loving man who was chagrined that an office prank turned out so badly. He was delighted with the high court’s decision, Kilpatrick said.

Attorneys for the insurance company did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

JOKESTARTERS:

• I wonder, when the oral surgeon took the stand in court, did the bailiff ask him if he’d vow to “tell the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth”?
• Can you imagine working as this doc’s assistant now and getting free oral surgery? “Um, no fangs doc…”

SOURCE:

• WRAL

Fire-savvy life-saving spiders.

An unknown tooth in forehead.

Maggots living in a man’s skull.

Severed hand found by handymen.

Gunman gets group hug.

And Elvis lives – in a rock.

Nothing to read here folks…just another weird week in review:

• Gov’t Building Locked Down ‘Cuz Someone Tossed Salad Behind
• Michigan Girl Credits Spiders For Rescuing Her From Fire
• Rugby Player Finds Opponent’s Tooth Buried In His Forehead
• Doc Removes Living Fly MAGGOTS From Man’s Head
• Woman Finds Image of Elvis In A Rock
• Contractors In Maine Find Severed Hand-Me-Down
• Gunmen Demands Money At Party, Gets Group Hug