For Fifty Dolla, “Over Here Jerks!” Will Distract Nerd In SF iPhone Line
“Need a diversion to cut in the iPHONE line? Try the best! – $50
Why pay someone else big $$$ to wait in line if the only thing between you and the front of the line is a good diversion? Our tactics are guaranteed to be safe, effective, and even humorous* !
With our proprietary combination of stink sauces and dangerous, exotic animals, two “attempts” in quick succession works over 60% of the time — especially with nerds. You might even have time to grab a few lawn chairs, sleeping bags, and sandwiches amid the mayhem! We’ll give it up to three “attempts” before ever charging you another nickel!
Feeling less like a geek and more like a bank robber? Not so good at chess yet? Our services are not limited to lines! Want to kidnap your neighbor’s obnoxious dog? Glue your boss’ furniture to the ceiling? Enjoy our bulk discounts on tranquilizer darts and industrial-strength adhesives. At “Over Here, Jerks” TM we’re dedicated to bringing you the most dependable results — ranging from a few turned heads to absolute pandemonium — to give you the “windows of opportunity” you need for that extra edge of success. Contact us today with your special request!
*humorless customers not eligible for discounts. Field ambassadors from “Over Here, Jerks” TM reserve the exclusive rights to evaluate and quantify the level of humor, based on the 2002 J.O.K.E. standards”
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