Sheryl Crow Has Run-In With Karl Rove, Proposes Limit On Toilet Paper Use, Invents “Dining Sleeve”
WASHINGTON, DC — Singer Sheryl Crow should just take two squares of toilet tissue and wipe Karl Rove’s ass after what she did and said over the weekend.
On the eve of Earth Day, Crow and An Inconvenient Truth producer Laurie David walked over to the Rove’s table at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner Saturday night at the Washington Hilton.
Their differences on global warming quickly bubbled over, the Washington Post reported Sunday.
“I am floored by what I just experienced with Karl Rove,” David said later. “I went over to him and said, I urge you to take a new look at global warming. He went zero to 100 with me. … I’ve never had anyone be so rude.”
Rove said: “She came over to insult me, and she succeeded.”
As the debate intensified, Crow tried to calm things down but was drawn into the debate with Rove instead.
“You work for me,” she told Rove, according to the Post column “The Reliable Source.”
“No,” was his response. “I work for the American people.”
Heather Lylis, a spokeswoman for Crow and David’s global warming tour, said Sunday that Crow’s response for Rove was: “Yes, and I’m an American citizen.”
Crow is a successful singer and songwriter whose hits include “All I Wanna Do” and “Every Day is a Winding Road.” David, in addition to her activism, is the wife of TV’s Larry David, co-creator of Seinfeld and the star of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
In a related story, Crow proclaims that if all humans were to limit the use of toilet tissue, it might help reduce global warming:
“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required,” Crow added.
Moreover, she also promoted the idea of “not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefullness”. In her attempt to support her idea, Crow designed something called “dining sleeve” – a detachable contrivance which offers the user “the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product”.
JOKESTARTERS:
- Doncha just love it when a stupid celebrity has a run-in with an asshat politician? Of course, I’m on Sheryl’s side in this debate, but she wants to limit how many tissues I use to wipe my ass? And she’s invented a “dining sleeve” so I can wipe my mouth on my arm like a 6-year old? No wonder Lance dumped her.
- Sheryl, I got a hot tip for ya: from now on, relate all of your ideas through your music. Things like wiping your ass with one or two squares, then wiping your mouth on your arm would sound so much better put to a nice beat. Especially if you were wearing a halter top and flinging your hair in slow-motion.
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1 comment
I guess Crow and David’s attempt to use a silly, toss-off idea like T.P. conservation to focus attention on global warming is equivalent to the Rove Cabal suggesting that, since Osama was responsible for the events of 9/11, it’s a good idea to occupy Iraq. Fair enough. Asshat indeed.
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