Posts from — April 2007

BALTIMORE — A woman pleaded guilty to using a false ID badge to enter a corrections facility while posing as an attorney so she could have sex with an inmate, state prosecutors said.

Tiffany Weaver, 29, entered the plea Wednesday. She was charged with identity theft and use of false government identification after entering the Maryland Reception Diagnostic and Classification Center in November to meet with inmate Jason Moody. Moody is serving a 30-year sentence for manslaughter.

Weaver arrived at the center with a Maryland State Bar Association Security Identification Pass with a photo and a business card with attorney Amanda Sprehn’s name.

She asked for admittance to meet with Moody and showed the fraudulent badge. Corrections officials responsible for monitoring inmate meetings with attorneys witnessed the two having sex once they were alone. The corrections officers ended the meeting.

The real Amanda Sprehn, an Annapolis attorney, told The Baltimore Examiner she was on leave when her firm received a letter banning her from the jail.

“I was out on maternity leave,” she said. “They informed me they received a letter saying I had been caught having sex with an inmate – which was a real laugh.”

Weaver’s sentencing is scheduled for June 7.

JOKESTARTERS:

• This story has all the makings of a Spike-TV Movie of the Week, doncha think?
• So this woman steals a real attorney’s ID so she can sneak into a prison and have sex with a convicted murderer (ok, manslaughterer)? I bet this happens to Charles Manson all the time.
• New late-night infomercial: “Hey guys – not getting laid enough? Try killing someone! Women love convicts! Just listen to Jason Moody, who’s serving 30 years…”

SOURCE:

• WRAL

WEST PALM BEACH, FL — A Florida man who performed dental work without a license in a “filthy” garage was charged and held on $6,000 bond.

Roger Bean, 60, performed denture fittings and made false teeth in his garage, charging just $200 for a full set of dentures, a procedure that typically costs more than $2,000, authorities said.

But he was not licensed to practice in Florida, let alone in a “filthy garage.”

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s detective Don Zumpano said there were “health risks with operating this type of facility outside of your house,” adding that Bean’s workspace was “filthy.”

Neighbors and clients, however, praised Bean for saving them thousands of dollars.

Ron St. Mary, 73, head of the neighborhood crime watch, said Bean is no criminal.

“He’s helping the old people who don’t have a few dollars,” he said. “I think the world of him.”

It was not immediately clear if Bean had an attorney.

JOKESTARTERS:

• “Dr.” Bean couldn’t afford Novocaine, so instead he made his patients bite down on a rusty old spark plug after taking a swig from some of his special bathtub gin.
• This isn’t Bean’s first encounter with the law. While in college, he was busted for giving free breast exams to unknowing women on campus.

SOURCE:

• WRAL

Patrons at the bar were dressed in costumes as part of a bar crawl Saturday night, police spokeswoman Jill Frederiksen said.

A man carrying a burrito and dressed as Captain America approached her, began to say dirty things and touched her inappropriately, police said. He then fought with her boyfriend, authorities said.

Several patrons who had dressed as the superhero were asked to step outside so the woman could identify the suspect, Frederiksen said.

She picked out Raymond Adamcik, 54, police said.

After he was arrested, he stuffed the burrito down his pants and tried to flush marijuana down a toilet at a police station.

Adamcik was released on a $2,500 bond and faces charges of possession of marijuana, destruction of evidence, disorderly conduct and battery.

A secretary at Adamcik’s office said he was on leave and that the office was not accepting messages for him.

The real stars-and-stripes-clad superhero made news recently after he was killed in a March issue of the comic book.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Excellent career move Dr. Adamcik – I’m sure tons of women will be lining up for exams from you now!
• So let me see if I understand this correctly: a guy goes to med school for what? 4-6 years? Then becomes a doctor, opens and runs a successful practice. Later, in his mid-50s, he goes to a bar wearing a Captain America costume. He drinks, gets drunk, chews on a burrito, hits on a woman and fights her boyfriend, then goes to jail where he stuffs said burrito down his pants and tries to flush some pot down the toilet, thus ruining his reputation and successful practice forever. Okay, it all makes sense now…

SOURCE:

• Miami Herald

BERLIN — A drunk man decided he couldn’t make it home, so he, and the horse he rode in on, slept it off in the lobby of a bank just southwest of Berlin.

An early-morning customer discovered the two when he entered the bank to use the automatic teller machine.

The horse’s owner, identified only as Wolfgang H., told the newspaper Bild that he had “a few beers” with a friend in Wiesenburg the night before.

Police said Tuesday that the 40-year-old machinist was on his way home when he decided to sleep it off inside the heated foyer of the bank.

Confronted with the lack of a hitching post, he brought the six-year-old horse, named Sammy, in with him.

When a customer came across the horse and sleeping rider in the bank at 4:15 a.m. Monday, he called police, who then came and woke the owner up and sent him on his way.

No charges were filed.

As to the cleanup: It appears Sammy made his own after hours deposit on the carpet.

JOKESTARTERS:

• After all the BS we all get from banks, it makes sense that Sammy the horse left his own deposit.
• Does anyone else other than me wonder how this guy and his horse got into the lobby of a closed bank? Maybe this bank has an after-hours slot for drunks and the horses they rode in on?

SOURCE:

• CNEWS

ENGLAND — A worker at a boat-building firm has been caught trying to steal a luxury yacht one piece at a time.

James Light, 35, stole hundreds of yacht parts worth $133,000 over a period of seven years, Bournemouth Crown Court heard yesterday. He stole the parts from his former employer, Sunseeker.

The case was compared to the Johnny Cash song One Piece At A Time, in which a Cadillac assembly line worker steals parts from the factory to build his own car.

A Sunseeker spokesman said he believed Light, who had worked for the company for 11 years, intended to build a boat.

“It appears that Mr Light was going to use the parts to build his own boat,” the spokesman told the Daily Mail.

“I don’t think he had enough to build an entire Sunseeker, but he certainly could have used them for a smaller boat.”

Among the stolen items — meant for the 16m Sunseeker motoryachts worth $2.4 million – were electrical components, a 1.2m radar mast, a widescreen TV, lifting straps and sternlights.

They were stored in more than 100 boxes at a lock-up garage in Bournemouth.

Light claimed he obtained the parts legitimately from a third party, but admitted charges of theft and handling stolen goods.

Light also admitted cultivating cannabis and possessing ecstasy tablets, cocaine and cannabis.

He was given a 12-month suspended prison sentence and ordered to do 200 hours of community service.

JOKESTARTERS:

• I can see how someone could steal a lot from a yacht factory, but how the hell did he get everything out? Did he stuff the mast down his pants and tell everyone he was just happy to see them?
• As my Mama once said to me, yacht not to steal, mi’boy.

SOURCE:

• News.com.au