Posts from — April 2007

FORT WORTH, TX – A woman was shocked when she checked the back of a receipt for new shoes to discover her name had been changed to “Angiestupid Martin” with an expletive added at the end.

The receipt looks harmless enough until you start looking at the fine print, where there is a nasty surprise.

Angie Martin is a Rewards Member at Famous Footwear, so you can imagine her reaction when she saw her name changed.

“I was totally shocked I just I didn’t know what to say,” says Martin.

Angie had made a complaint online after an unpleasant experience when she returned a pair of shoes.

“The manager that was on duty was upset that I was doing it without a receipt she gave a big sigh and didn’t want to speak to me.”

The district manager called and offered Angie a discount.

“When I went to the counter to see if they had my discount and how long I could use it they had no record of it.”

So she made a second complaint and then was offered a 60 percent family discount.

“I wanted to see the discount because I thought it was great that they were taking care of me.”

That’s when Angie noticed the nasty words and was eventually told it was done as joke.

Erin Conroy with Famous Footwear’s parent company Brown Shoe released this statement to NBC News:

“What happened with this customer was an isolated incident…nevertheless it is unacceptable and the individual responsible is no longer with our company. All Famous Footwear customers should be treated with respect, whether they are buying shoes, making a return or simply browsing.”

JOKESTARTERS:

• Apparently, the victim got upset because they actually misspelled her name. It should’ve read “Angie Dontgivedacomplaininbitchadiscount Martin.” Can you blame her for being mad about that?
• Strangely, on the front of the receipt is something even more obscene – ridiculously inflated charges for cheap-ass shoes made in a Chinese sweatshop by children paid 17 cents an hour.

SOURCE:

• First Coast News

• According to Yahoo News, “Scotty’s” cremains, while indeed enjoying a short ride into outer space, are now missing somewhere in the mountains of New Mexico. Seems the payload, after parachuting, actually floated back down to Earth. So, in short, Scotty’s cremains remains on this planet. Aye…

UPHAM, N.M. — The cremains of actor James Doohan, who portrayed engineer “Scotty” On “Star Trek” were blasted into suborbital space Saturday aboard a rocket.It was the first successful launch from Spaceport America, a commercial spaceport being developed in the southern New Mexico desert.

Dead Mercury astronaut Gordon Cooper also went along for the ride, and now both men’s cremains are allegedly orbiting the Earth.

Widows Suzan Cooper and Wende Doohan fired the rocket carrying small amounts of their husbands’ ashes, and those of about 200 others, at 8:56 a.m. local time.

“Go baby, go baby,” said Eric Knight of the commercial launch company, UP Aerospace Inc. of Farmington, Conn.

Since it was a suborbital flight, the rocket soon parachuted back to Earth, coming down at the White Sands Missile Range.

“We nailed it. We stuck the landing,” said Knight.

UP Aerospace launched the first rocket from the desert site in September, but that Spaceloft XL rocket crashed into the desert after spiraling out of control about nine seconds after liftoff. Company officials blamed the failure on a faulty fin design.

Family members paid $495 to place a few grams of their relatives’ ashes on the rocket. Celestis, a Houston company, contracted with UP to send the cremated remains into space.

Family and friends who watched the 20-foot rocket take off from about 4 miles away cheered and cried as it flew and the mission control center announced the launch was successful.

Wende Doohan, of Renton, Wash., said her husband of 30 years sought a space ride for his remains after “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry’s remains were launched in 1997. James Doohan died in July 2005 at age 85.

On Saturday morning she wore a flight jacket from Doohan’s son-in-law, Air Force Reserve Chief Master Sgt. Paul Pritchard, who died this week of cancer.

“He and Jimmy are together watching history,” Wende Doohan said.

Kathy Allums’ uncle, James Roach, told relatives long before his death three years ago that he wanted his remains flown to space. Some laughed at the seemingly crazy idea.

“I’m just beside myself,” said Allums, of Arlington, Texas. “It’s more than what I expected. It’s exactly what he would have wanted.”

Charles Chafer, chief executive of Celestis, said last month that a CD with more than 11,000 condolences and fan notes was placed on the rocket with Doohan’s remains.

The launch from the fledgling spaceport – currently a 100-foot by 25-foot concrete slab in a patch of desert more than 50 miles north of Las Cruces – keeps the New Mexico project ahead of its nearest competitor, in West Texas.

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon.com, is said to be developing the spaceport north of Van Horn, Texas. Bezos’ Blue Origin is working to develop tourist space flights.

British billionaire Richard Branson also has announced plans to launch a space tourism company, which is expected to have its headquarters at the New Mexico spaceport.

JOKESTARTERS:

• At one point, it didn’t look like the rocket would make it into orbit. Luckily, Doohan’s cremains finally spoke up and said “I’m givin’ ‘er all I can Cap’n!” and it made it.
• Unfortunately, towards the end of the flight, the cremains of Gordon Cooper ‘screwed the pooch’ and blew the doors off the rocket (rent “The Right Stuff” if you don’t get that one). All passengers inside were killed. Again.

SOURCE:

• Seattle P-I

Police and postal inspectors inspected the box, and instead of a ticking bomb, they found condoms.

Five hundred condoms that is.

The package was sent to a teacher of a human sexuality class, and was sent by a person who had been a previous speaker at the class, said Rob Denson, the college’s president.

JOKESTARTERS:

• Evacuating an entire college campus because of a box of condoms? This sounds like the work of one of our own home-grown terrorists: the neo-con right wing nutjob evangelicals.
• I guess it didn’t help that this suspicious box contained the newest style of condom – the ticking countdown timer model, designed to prevent premature evacuation.

SOURCE:

• Seattle P-I

It’s always fun to look back at the wacky news o’the week.

Makes me feel sane and very very, um…normal?

Much more normal at least than Hugh Grant, Dr. Captain America and Sheryl Crow:

• Naked Man Wearing Only High Heels Causes Building Lockdown
• Hugh Grant Beans Photographer, Gets Arrested Again
• Alumni Open Time Capsule, Find Porn, Underwear And Old Condom
• McDonald’s Happy Meal Gets Even Happier With Free Condom
• Japanese Buy Designer Poodles That Were Actually Sheep (HOAX)
• Saudi Arabia Beauty Pageant Shows Off Sexy Camel Toes
• Woman Sneaks Into Prison So She Could Have Sex With Inmate
• Florida Man Drilled For Doing Amateur Dentistry In “Filthy” Garage
• Doctor Dressed As Captain America Gropes Woman, Gets Busted
• Drunk Man And Horse He Rode In On Sleep It Off. In Lobby Of Bank.
• Man Tries To Imitate Johnny Cash, Steal Yacht One Piece At A Time
• Caffeinated Soap Will Replace Morning Latte And Save You $4/Day
• Car Crash Suspect Busted When Left-Behind Shoe Is A Perfect Fit
• Woman Busted After Birthing And Leaving On San Francisco Street
• Man Arrested After Walking Around Nekkid With Swastika Taped To Body
• Indian Teachers Purify Their Students By Spraying Cow Pee On Them
• Sheryl Crow Fights Karl Rove, Proposes Limit On Toilet Paper Use
• Guy Posts Video To Youtube With His Phone Number, Gets 5,000+ Calls
• More School Violence As Fisticuffs Break Out Over Nachos

The unidentified man was spotted sitting on a bench on the basement floor of a nearly vacant medical building Wednesday afternoon.

After a call to 911 dispatchers, two McMinnville police units responded and were assisted by deputies from the Yamhill County Sheriffs Office and the Oregon State Police.

The building was locked down and surrounded, but alas, no naked man and no heels.

The man was described as 40 to 50 years old, bald or with short white hair, of thin to medium build.

He was last seen running down one of the building’s hallways in the heels, police said.

JOKESTARTERS:

• It’s a good thing Osama Bin Laden doesn’t go around nekkid and in heels, otherwise we woulda caught the sonuvabitch by now.
• Cops later put out a full dragnet to find the transvestite, but with no luck.

SOURCE:

• Centre Daily

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