Man Leads Cops On High-Speed Chase, Gets Caught, Claims To Be Dick Cheney

STRATFORD, Conn. — After leading police on a high-speed chase, a man claimed that he was Vice President Dick Cheney.

John Spernak, 42, was taken to Bridgeport Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation.

He later admitted that he wasn’t Cheney but said he was actually “Charlie’s Angels” star Jaclyn Smith, police said. He also claimed to be the husband of Paris Hilton’s sister.

Police said Spernak, driving at more than 90 mph Monday night, hit a patrol car and was shocked with a stun gun before they could arrest him. He was charged with attempted first-degree assault, engaging police in a pursuit, reckless driving, criminal mischief, interfering with police and being in a town park after dark.

Police said they were on routine patrol when they spotted Spernak in his parked car. As they approached, he drove away.

He eventually pulled into his own driveway, but police shocked him because he wouldn’t get out of the car, they said.

Court officials said Spernak had not appeared in Bridgeport Superior Court as of Wednesday, but Stratford police could not provide an update on his status. No one answered the phone Wednesday afternoon at a number listed for Spernak’s address.

JOKESTARTERS:

• You know, the “Dick Cheney Defense” only works if you’re a war-loving hawkish money-grubbing asshole with a heart problem and deep-vein thrombosis, so don’t try this at home kids.
• So this guy goes from being the Vice President to Jaclyn Smith, then settles on being the husband of Paris Hilton’s sister? Dude, you’re supposed to work your way up, not down. I mean, did he expect that eventually the cops would believe him? “Sir, we know Dick Cheney, and you’re no Dick Cheney. However, this husband of Paris Hilton’s sister? Hmmm…I’ll buy that…”

SOURCE:

• Seattle P-I